5 ways to tell your boyfriend or partner about your nude modeling photos.
This article is directed towards new or “closet” nude models to give advice on how to spill the beans about your nudies to your lover. The 3 most common elements that cause new models to quit are: insecurity, societal stigma, and their significant other. Through the course of counseling with many aspiring models, I have witnessed these drawbacks time and time again. I will write about insecurity and stigma issues in the future, this post is specifically about how to deal with your lover!
DISCLAIMER: I am providing this advice based on my personal experience, your life situation, and your lover’s past will likely differ from mine. So please take these ideas as SUGGESTIONS and not textbook instructions.
For those of you who started modeling BEFORE you started dating your lover: it’s very likely he/she was attracted to you because of your beautiful photos. Either way, he/she probably likes the images they’ve seen of you, but maybe you haven’t broken the news about your nudes yet?
Here are 5 ways to let your lover know:
1. Start a conversation about a well respected celebrity that has posed nude (Angelina Jolie, Kate Moss, Betty Paige… or look up a model you look up to!). This can create a safe zone for you to drop the bomb! If he/she says something like “Oh she shouldn’t have done that” or something negative, debase that negativity with a positive statement like “Well I think ____XYZ CELEB___ looks amazing here and it was totally brave! I have some photos like this….”
2. Invite him/her to a shoot! Ideally with a photographer you trust and have already worked with (nude) and let your lover watch the process. Don’t tell him/her you’re getting nude in advance, but suggest it during the shoot. (This should be a TFP shoot agreement with the photographer, in the event that a distraction occurs that may hinder the productivity of the shoot)
3. Gradually start sending more revealing photos over a period of time. The first time you share an implied nude image, your lover may be shocked. Communication is important, and YOUR CONFIDENCE is vital in this transition. Don’t let your lover talk down to you, or try to change you. You are beautiful and you deserve the right to express yourself (as long as you are not modeling out of spite)
4. Is your significant other pretty laid back? Just send em! Sometimes going straight for the guts is a good way to go, like ripping that bandaid off really fast!
5. If your lover is the romantic type, this is what I did for the boyfriend I was dating when I started posing nude: Make a printed little booklet with some of your favorite nudes along with some love letters you personally wrote. You can hand make one of these if you’re crafty, or you can order one through a site like shutterfly or picaboo (they’ll print it as long as the images aren’t “raunchy”)
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is uncool with your nudes, you are going to have to make the decision for yourself. I personally am very independent and wouldn’t let naysayers get me down. If he/she gets jealous, there may be unrelated underlying issues that you both need to work out. If your lover doesn’t support your nude modeling, maybe that’s an indicator that you will not get support in other things in the future. You will ultimately have to be a big girl and make the decision for yourself.
Lastly: DON’T WAIT for your significant other to accidentally find your nudes on the internet! The sooner you let the cat out of the bag, the better!
Are you nervous about telling someone? Express yourself in the comments, I’d love to help!